No Emotion?

Has something ever happened to you that you SHOULD be sad or mad about but you feel.. .well... nothing?I'm having this really odd feeling. I'm being really dependent on God. SO PEACEFUL.

Long story short:
I really liked this guy. Didn't turn out. bla bla bla high school stuff.

I am EXTREMELY familiar with the feeling of not being good enough for a guy. Happens to me a lot. I always get really down on myself. My self-esteem hits an all time low, I get a bad attitude, I cry a lot, I eat a lot. Girl stuff. (You only understand if you are a girl. SERIOUSLY)

.........this time though....... I am utterly content.

I should be raging mad. Or sad. I should have cried myself to sleep. I don't even know. The flesh thing to do. I should have done that.

I AM ENOUGH FOR GOD!
GOD IS ENOUGH FOR ME!

I'm at this peaceful place in my heart where I'm just telling myself "WHO CARES?!"
I got hurt. boooo hoooo. Jesus went through SO much more than my petite struggles.

I'm ok! I'm really okay.


I have an eternity with my King to look forward to. I can't wait.

NOTHING CAN COMPARE TO THE JOY THAT'S COMING!

"You are more sinful than you could dare imagine and you are more loved and accepted than you could ever dare hope."

I've been doing a devotion for athletes and I am getting A LOT out of it. My heart is transforming little by little, slowly but surely. I have been jotting down notes in a journal and I wanted to share them.. They aren't anything deep but they are short and easy to understand. I don't usually share my notes with anyone.. I get really self conscious when I leave my journal laying around. But I'm going to lay it all out for you. Here's a look into my heart.....

Dreams: "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20 

•  Gods reality is sooo much bigger than any of our dreams or hopes. 
• He is working inside of us in unfathomable ways. We can't even begin to imagine how he is working each day with everything we go through. He is working someway and somehow!
• With this being said we should find confidence coming from the security in Christ.
• In Romans 16:25 it says He is able to establish us
• In Jude 24 it assures us that we are presented before Him without fault AND he keeps us from falling!

Commitment: "So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith." Ephesians 3:17

• A relationship with Christ takes time, preparation, and purpose just like anything else.
• Commitment to Christ is an individual decision but it positively affects everyone around us.
• He will work above and beyond what we can do in our strength. 
• To stay committed in Christ I need to feed myself the Word and allow Him to dwell and my heart and bring me pure peace.
• Share the grace, passion, and love God gives you.

  Recovery: "being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God " Ephesians 3:17-19

• We don't need to be fixed before coming to Jesus!! 
• In mark 2:17 God didn't call the righteous but he called the sinners.
• PAIN IS OFTEN INVOLVED IN THE RECOVERY!
• Rest in Him and continue to seek (Deut. 4:29)
• He peels back each layer, he is taking us through a PERFECT process
• The honest cry of a breaking heart is better than a hallelujah sometimes

 Give it up: "To Him be the glory in the church and in Jesus Christ throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:21

• When Christ overcame he gave all of the glory to God 
• With greatness comes glory
• Let Christ show through us by giving our glory to God
• In Numbers 13-14 they SAW the greatness and wanted it! Set an example and let Christ show through you.
• Stay focused on Christ as he perfects your faith. He has and always will be faithful to you.

Dump the junk: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" Hebrews 12:1-2

• Were SO caught up in doing stuff our own way we don't even notice our junk..
• Our junk weighs us down 
• Junk thoughts tear you down.
• Junk friends lead to bad character.
• No junk leads to life.
• God crafted us to walk in freedom.
• In 2 Corinthians 7:1 He PROMISED we can let go and let Him take control. 

You don't have to earn it: "This is love; not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins" 1 John 4:10

• He simply loves us because we are His
• No matter how you perform 
• You don't have to do anything to be loved.
• All you have to "do" is receive it.
• His love is so different than the worlds love.
• Lay down your performance driven mentality and rest in the love of Christ!!

Who are you: "I no longer live, Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in Christ, who loved me and gave himself me me." Galatians 2:20 

• Our identity is wrapped up in Earthly things
• If you accept Jesus your identity is changed and found in him! 
• You are: His child, the bride of Christ, a Servant, Worker, co-heir, and friend.
• It's not about what we do but about who we are in Him.

Our Greatest Fear by Nelson Mandela
'Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine,
we consciously give other people permission
to do the same.As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.'

Thoughts: 

When I first read this quote I was in awe... It's so simple.. but so complex. At first when you see the first two lines it's kind of crazy. You're probably thinking its wrong! But it's not..If the power was ours, the world would be a scary place. The Holy Spirit lives INSIDE of us. All good things come from the Holy Spirits power in us. If we didn't have the power of the Holy Spirit inside of us and if our power was from our flesh would we still be "good" people? No. Not at all! 

Then the next part where it says "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" Oh.My.Gosh. Name one person who has NEVER thought these things.. We all are at a constant struggle between insecurities and pride! Weird right? They are TOTAL opposites but we're constantly battling with them. The battle won't end until you find your true identity. We were made, created, and crafted for our identity to be in God. We have to seek that to find peace. And since God created us were ALLLLLLL brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous. FOR REAL! 

I think the next paragraph is just saying who cares if you make people uncomfortable. Just be you. Embrace it. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what people say or think, you are a child of God and at the end of the life none of that is going to matter.

I am in LOVE with this paragraph. We were ALL made to praise the one true King. Deep down in EVERY person is the thirst to give Him glory. AMAZING! 

The last paragraph is just saying share it. In Matthew 17:20 it stresses how amazing faith is, even if it  as small as a mustard seed! Even if you just have a tiny tiny tiny bit of faith tell people!! DO IT! =)